The concept of starting a book club came to Valeen Heinle one night in July during a heated argument with her Trump-supporting dad about Israel’s war in Gaza and its impact on children.
“Please try learning from something other than Facebook, Fox, or Newsmax,” Valeen, a 38-year-old Democrat and pet sitter in Denver, messaged her dad on Instagram after exchanging posts about Gaza. “Read a book on the history there. I have many recommendations, but I know you won’t because you’d rather stay in your confirmation bias, and that saddens me.”
Her dad responded, “I worry too much about my children and their future. Once my kids are safe and cared for, maybe I could care about other kids.”
Gaza isn’t the only topic dividing Americans—and Valeen and her dad. They’ve clashed over the Covid-19 vaccine, climate change, gun laws, the 2020 election, the January 6 Capitol riot, and more. “Since 2016, he’s been drawn further right, filled with hatred and anger—traits not like him,” says Valeen. “Debating him is increasingly painful, and some things he says are shocking.”
Her dad’s response about Gaza was a breaking point. It upset her so much that when her partner arrived home, he found her crying on their sofa. They talked at length, then distracted themselves with animal crackers, Chips Ahoy cookies, and an anime episode on her laptop.
When the episode ended around 3 am, Valeen messaged her dad in central Florida. “Alright. I’ll make a deal: read three books of my choosing—all the way through—and prove you understand them,” she wrote. “I’ll attend church for a month after.”
Reddit is full of stories from those, like Valeen, whose political differences with Trump-supporting parents have strained relationships. Some compare their families’ MAGA devotion to a cult—a comparison also made by cult experts.
Some believe relationships can be salvaged and even “deprogram” MAGA parents through “book clubs.”
A Reddit user asked for suggestions of “good reading materials for someone who might need help being nudged back toward reality and morality”—their dad. They specifically sought fantasy book recommendations, a genre their dad enjoyed. “Fantasy books often have ‘progressive’ values, and I’m looking for some that subtly convey that!” they wrote. In another subreddit, someone sought book recommendations to “deprogram” their father from Trump’s influence.